It was 1992 and it was the summer before my freshman year, I just had started Central High football camp roughly a month before school started. The first week was what they call conditioning week which translated into running your ass off, after a summer of playing video games and eating pizza needless to say it sucked. So for the next two weeks I had thoughts of quitting. I wasn't used to the culture diversity of this school and not going to lie, I was a little intimidated by being one of the only white kids and not knowing anyone made things strange. Prior to this I went to the same school from kindergarten though the 8th grade so I wasn't used to change like this. One day running though their torture drills they had I fell on my ass and this african american kid Kevin helped me up and and patted me on the back and told me you got this man! Now let's do this! So I pushed on and after two weeks I started to know everyone and found a sense of worth and need. Playing football in Jr high I had lifted weights and prided myself in being stronger then all the other kids and being a lineman I was depended on to protect my other team mates and Kevin being the quarter back I wasn't going to let him get hurt. So in a month I went from being the weakest links to someone who was dominating at drills. The coach Mr Staley was the best coach I had to this point he was always funny and you could tell he cared about his kids but he would push you to your full potential. I Remember we lost a game to Kickapoo, I think we lost before we started we had probably 17 kids on our team and they had a storm trooper like army  of 40 or so kids. So after seeing this horde of players march on the field we gave up so after losing our next practice our coach wore a  complete Kickapoo  jersey and told us he had a new team he knew we had given up before we started and pissed about it. So after we promised not to give up he promised not to wear the jersey again. I loved playing football and it will always bring me happy memories it's hard to believe something I almost quite would become something I would always cherish. 

In 1993 I was working at Mr. Gaddis Pizza. After work one day I was driving home from work and was backing out of the parking lot and hit a geo metro. I hit it on the driver side front fender and being a dumb kid I didn't have insurance. This being the case I told the guy I didn't have insurance but, I wanted to make it right with him. To do this I offered to pay him whenever I got paid. The fender looked to have been wrecked before but, we agreed on a price and everything was settled. I was still living with my brother and his two roommates. You could say that not everything was on the up and up. Though Hector (my brother's roommate) had been dating this girl he really liked. One day while he was at work she was waiting at the house for him to get off work. She ended up hooking up with Tim (another roommate). So that ended Tim living with us but, I still remained friends with him. I kind of looked up to him, he was four years older than me and seemed like another brother to me. Soon after he and this girl he was dating at the time got an apartment together and he had boughten a 1979 Trans Am. I loved it so I ended up trading my 1966 Barracuda, a waterbed, and $200.00 for it. Tim had gotten into some bad habits while with this girl. He started I injecting Meth. I had been there while they where using but, I would always just snort it, I guess I was always to scared to do what he was doing and for good reason. He ended up in the hospital about a week later, I guess he had a anxiety attack and thought he was having an heart attack. For the next week I visited him everyday while he was in the hospital until he got out. I went a couple of weeks without seeing him and he showed up and took the Trans Am I bought from him. He still had the title seeing how I owed him 100 dollars for it still I guess him and his chick ended up having a fall out and he needed a car. I learned a valuable lesson that day very few people in this world can be trusted specially junkies.

The year was 1993 and after a very long year of my mother taking chemotherapy and being very sick her tumor marker test came back that her cancer was in remission. Everything seemed to somewhat go back to normal, but not so much for me after having a year of doing whatever I wanted I had grown to like the freedom of doing what I wanted when I wanted. So I moved in with my brother and his two roommates for the fee of 150 a month to rent what was a dining room.  Unfortunately for me was the only way to get to the bathroom and two of the bedrooms, so privacy wasn't a thing for me but freedom was. Living with my brother was an every night party with drinking and smoking pot which was fun most of the time but on nights when I tried to go to bed early I would sometimes wake to drunks hovering over my bed, which was met with a quick response to get the hell out. My roommates liked me living there at the time I worked at Mr. Gaddis Pizza and was able to bring home what was left of the buffet every night so they loved that. That job I would drink at work a lot I was a dishwasher and it was located next to the beer keg and when the boss would do paperwork I would set a beer next to the other mugs that needed washed and sometimes would run a 5 gallon bucket through the dishwasher and fill it up with beer and would take it to my car sloshing beer all over my legs and inside my car, I had never gotten caught lucky for me a few months later I was working in the dishwashing room and the day shift boss was making pizza dough and was using a giant mixer with a dough hook and was cleaning off the side and hit the on button while doing it and broke her arm to the point the bone punctured through the skin it was very disturbing site.

So far I have mostly written about the self destructive things in my life and although those things are part of who I am today but 3/4 of everything I've done I'm far from being proud of those things, if anything I hate who I used to be. But I would now like to talk about the positive things that's impacted my life and I think made me realize Starting with my mother I couldn't have had a better mother she was probably the purest at heart person you would ever meet she had a loving nature and an almost child like trust and caring nature of the world. I remember as a child she would read bible stories to me and my brother and would always cuddle me when I would get sick an would always made everyone in house loved and welcome. My dad although he worked out of town most of time always worked hard for his family and anytime I would do something stupid he would get stern and after he would blow his stack he would come in and hug me and give me lecture me on him just wanting the best for me and was doing it because he loved me. And my brother although we tormented each other I would give my life to save his and I think God everyday for my brother, when the chips are down and life's gone to shit the one person who is always there to pick up the pieces is my brother.  And although my wife Haylee didn't come into my life until 4 years ago she saved my life and gave me a new life and new hope for the future.  She backs me up no matter what happens and is always there when I doubt myself.

I would say the most difficult point in my life I was 16 and my mom was having a whole gamble of health problems. The Dr she was seeing should have retired but continued to misdiagnose my moms unknown health problems for two years and refused to do anything to figure it out. And lucky but unluckily for her he was on vacation and another Dr was filling in and within a week she was in for surgery for a hysterectomy and before coming out of surgery the Dr came out with a rather grim look on his face and met with the family and said she had ovarian cancer and was given 5 years to live and with chemotherapy she might have more time but the prognosis wasn't good the cancer had already spread. An even at 16 all I could think was only if she would have seen this dr 2 years ago this might not have been as bad. So after my moms wakes from surgery she given the news of her condition and doesn't do well with the news but who would. So the family tried to keep a positive attitude and try and keep her in good spirits for the long road she had before her. After starting her chemotherapy she became very ill, couldn't keep food down, her skin became yellow, she could barely walk and came to the point she would go live with my aunt for help. With my father who worked out of town all week that left me at home by myself. At this point I already dropped out of school to Pursue my career at Steak N Shake and smoking pot, so not liking being by myself my friend Dave moved in. So for the next year me and Dave pretty much did whatever we wanted and for me it was a distraction for what was happening with my mother.

Growing up I always enjoyed going to my grandmothers house. My dad had a rule in our house every other weekend we would visit his mom my grandma. I never liked the trip to get there, my grandma lived in Eldon Missouri a small town 30 miles from Jefferson City. It was always relaxing there,  I didn't have the stress,pressures and noise of a big town. Things where simpler there, my grandmother would always had a very large garden and me and my brother would always work an she would pay us for a good days work. Which I always looked forward to, my grandma always would had strange pets at one time she had a pet duck who lived in the pond down the street and he would come up to her house to get fed.  My grandmother always had a lot of tough love she always said what was on her mind and most of the time she would come off as mean. She used to refer to me as fat ass when I was younger and when I was a teenager I would walk down to the pond and smoke and no matter how much gum I would chew  she could always tell. Sometimes as soon as I would come in the house she would grab me by my ear and twist and lower me down to her shorter stature level and hold me there till I breathed and she would  smell my breath, then I would get a lecture how I was going to need an oxygen tank one day and everyone she knew who had died from smoking. I always had a lot of respect although she was seemed mean she did because she cared and I've never met anyone with work ethic as good as hers. 

Knowing your audience

Reading everyone's responses I realize how many of the people in this class are very similar to me in there likes and dislikes. I think a lot of the questions are what you would expect people to ask like what would you do with a million dollars and if you could meet one person who would it be. These are questions I think this getting to know my audience assignment  makes me think that everyone is very similar in some ways. Everyone  has dreams of what their future might be like and I would like to write in a way that gives people hope. I really think people aren't born bad and that anyone might start life as one person and be someone completely different when you get older. I think in a world with such negativity it's important for people to have hope and I like the thought of reaching someone who is in turmoil. I also think my audience would like a good underdog story where the chips are down and the characters of the story come back and are successful in whatever they pursue and at the same time be entertained and to be able to relate to the character of a story. I really think as divided as this country is in this time people are fundamentally the same. We all grow and love and live and die. If you really want to get to know your audience and be able to not only grab but keep their attention you need to not only have an exciting topic you need to know about it. I mean I couldn't talk much about my wife's Mary Kay or her cooking and baking because these are not things I am really interested in. Now if you want to talk about cars I have a lot to say.