It was 2008 and I had bought a trailer with my now X wife Stacey. One night while working in the garage, Stacey had came into my shop with the phone and said Tristans cousin Forest was on the phone and need to talk to me. I hadn't talk to Tristan or Forest in 8 years, there was something in his voice that didn't sound right, he went on to tell me that Tristan had died. I don't think I had ever taken a loss so badly, I had never loss someone so sudden. I asked how he had died and was told he had been bitten by a pig-me rattlesnake and had went to the hospital and was sent home, but he did not respond to the anti venom like he should've and died at home with his wife and 3 kids. After this I located all mine and Tristans old friends to tell them the news and to keep more in touch with them, life is to short to take people for granted, I've learned this to many times. I felt bad for Tristans wife and kids so organized a party much like a wake and asked everyone to bring twenty dollars each to send to his wife to help in there troubled time. To this day I still talk to my old friends some who I've known for 30 years and with my current wife Haylee of 4 years had a son Tristan Jo named after my lost friend and my mother, he was born on my mothers birthday so I think there both smiling down us. 

It was the beginning part of 1998 and things couldn't have been any worse they admitted my mother into the hospital, they said they didn't think she would make it through the night so they called the whole family to say there goodbyes. I prayed more then I ever had before. This went on for two weeks the Hosptial would say every day they didn't expect her to make it the night. My mom had a very strong will to live that I don't think they where counting on. After the two weeks in ICU she got better and was moved to a regular room and for the next week someone would stay with her overnight. I went back to work I was out of time off and that weekend my dad was exhausted so I told him I would stay with her at the hospital it was Friday night. I worked second shift but I got off at 10 and was up there by 10:30, when I got there she was sleeping so my dad left an I was watching tv in the recliner. I glanced over and my mom was smiling at me I hadn't seen her smile in months. I will never forget that. I didn't know but this would be last time I would get to spend with my mother. After a long Wednesday night of fighting with Stacey and her using your cancer ridden bitch phrase in regards to my mom I was sleeping on the couch and I get the phone call a couple hours after getting to sleep that she had died. So the next couple days we where making arrangements. While at my aunts house Stacey starts to pipe up about the stuff she was wanting of my mothers and I bluntly told her not to fucking worry about it. My uncle smiled patted me on the back and said stick to your guns boy. All the mean shit that had ever been said to me I could forget but the things that came out of her mouth I will never forgive.

It was 1997 and life was an up hill battle. My marriage couldn't be any worse and I was spending my time on the couch when I was home and either at home or at the hospital. My mom was in and out of the hospital several times ether with complications or she would have to stay the weekend to get her injected chemotherapy that she would receive through a port they had put in her chest. Thanksgiving came and it was the worst one I ever had, we had it at my aunts house where my mom was staying and since the cancer had spread to her stomach she couldn't eat. So I spent most of my time visiting my mom but our visits where kinda one sided she had to have a tube put in her nose to drain bile out of her throat. So she wasn't  able to talk so she would listen to me ramble about her granddaughter and work and I had bought an old Camaro that I was working on. So when the family went to eat thanksgiving I wanted to dye inside thinking of my mom laying in the other room while the family ate and carried on. To this day I hate going in the room where my mom was. It wasn't long after this they brought hospice in and where trying to keep her comfortable. I have the upmost respect for my aunt and uncle who would help take care of her in there home no less. And my father who lived in a recliner for 3 years at her side. This part of my life I still have a hard time processing it was a lot of bad shit to happen at the age of 19. I  would sometimes get so stressed I would get hives all over my body and was on the verge of a breakdown.

It was early 1996 and I ended getting set up with a girl from a prior X girl friend which should be good indication of trouble. So I ended up meeting this girl and we hit it off good at first, within 6 months she was pregnant and we where married and it seemed like it was all good. I went from not having a job to having two jobs. I made a promise to my new wife I would give up my drug use and my old life. I was tired anyways of all the craziness and was ready for a normal life. looking back I think that's why I chose to move so fast was because I had lived a lot in just a few years. After my daughter was born things went to shit in my marriage we would Fight nonstop and over anything and it was nasty fighting. I completely adored my daughter. I worked second shift and would stay awake and take the 3am shift getting up and feeding the baby. Stacey didn't work she stayed home with the baby and would take the 7am shift.  Stacey I think had realized things where not working out so she had a goal of making me look as bad as possible so when we had to do the custody thing I would lose. So anytime we would fight she would say anything to push my buttons even going to lows like referring to my sick mother as a cancer ridden bitch, I wasn't completely innocent by any means but damn I couldn't keep from having conflict with this person. I worked all the time and would be up all night arguing. And there was no going to the couch she would follow and pick and pick and try and get me to react so she could have my ass put in jail. In the first year we both had cheated on each other and the police where getting called daily it seemed like. My mothers health was getting worse the cancer had spread into her stomach and she wasn't able to eat anymore. Aside from my daughter my life has went from bad to worst.

It was 1995 Tristan and I were living at my parents house, my dad worked out of town Monday through Friday and my mom was living at my aunts still due to illness. The house was pretty much a drug den 3/4s of the time. Before my mom had gotten sick she had bought a whole deep freeze full of different cuts of meats like steak, and filet mignon  off some strange guy in a jeep with a deep freeze in the back. So Tristan and I ate really good for about 3 months, then that ran out so we started eating the insane stock pile of canned goods my mom had. My mom was a bit of a hoarder when it came to food, so for another 3 months we lived off canned chili and canned ravioli. Sometimes  when we would get tired of those options we would mix the two, it was pretty good. After that food was scarce my dad didn't really like supporting his drug addict son and friends, who could blame him. He wouldn't buy much food pretty much enough for just me to eat but he knew I would share it with Tristan. We used drugs everyday mostly LSD and even sold them for cigarette money and pot. Things seemed crazy most of the time, seemed like there was always someone you wanted to kick their ass or wanted to kick yours. There was one night that comes to mind Tristan was at some guys house I didn't know and after coming home he was pissed I guess he had gotten messed  up and they ripped him off for 50 dollars worth of LSD. So me, Tristan an two other friends ate a bunch of acid and went back to these peoples apartment we each had some kind of weapon I had a orange mallet, being messed up on hallucinogens it looked kinda cool. So we go into these peoples apartment and give them The ultimatum they ether pay us the money they owed or we would kick there ass and take everything in there house. So they were emptying their pockets and change jars on the coffee table until they paid what they owed plus interest. They had a Pink Floyd poster on the wall that I took. After getting home I thought about what had happened and was thinking what kinda life I was leading  and starting to reevaluate the way I was living my life. I had became a disgrace to myself an my family an was on my way to becoming a full blown junkie. 

It was 1990 and growing up on the west side had its disadvantages like it didn't matter what time of day it was if you lift anything of any kind of value out without it walking off. I had  payed $400 dollars for a Chrome Molly bike an had went in my parents house for dinner an upon coming outside realizing that it had been stolen. So being a very angry teenager I had my brother drive the neighborhood and surrounding areas to try and find it, even going to  (friends) houses who I didn't really trust who liked my bike who I knew who liked to steal stuff, but without any luck. So next I wanted vengeance so I devised a plain I would take an old dirt bike and put out for bait and when one of my thieving hood rat kids in the neighborhood would take the bait I would spring the trap, I would rig the bike where the wheel would fall off when it was moved so they could not get yet another bike from me. So me and every kid I could recruit for my madness we started our plan we set the bike out at the street, for a finishing touch the 5 other kids who I recruited who most at some point had something stolen so was a little hungry for vengeance as well, all urinated into a bucket and had plans on after catching our little thief, not only was he getting beat up but was going to get a whole bucket of nastiness dumped on him, an each one of us had baseball bats, crowbars, anything that could be made into a weapon.So we all hid in different places two guys in a tree I was under a camper shell. So now all was lift to do is wait and after 3 hours the troops started to get grouchy, I started arguing with the guy in the tree and rite then we heard someone coming down the street, so we all shut up and two kids a little older then us came down the streets on dirt bikes, we heard one say to the other hay that was a free style bike so one waited down the street and the other reached down to pick up the bike an couldn't get it while on his bike so after getting off his bike we all jumped out after him and chased him down the street through yards, I swung a bat and nearly hit him in the face maybe an inch. A Olympian runner was born that night we never caught that kid but gave chase for 2 long hours. I guarantee he thought twice about stealing from kids again. The thief had left his bike so we turned into the police and even told them what we did leaving a few things out of course. And after a couple months no one claimed the kids bike so I got to keep it, almost thought about making a Robin Hood type Business of robbing thieves at the same time cleaning up the neighborhood, but was to lazy for that.

It was the summer of 1997 an as young teenagers we had no cares in the world Tristan, Brandon, and I spent almost almost every day together. We would play football and I always liked running the ball. My brother was about the only one that could tackle me when I had the ball. Although, Tristan would sometimes be able to. Tristan was into tae kwon do and was very flexible. He even could put his feet behind his head! He would always jump on my back like some crazy lemur monkey with his hands around my neck. He then would wrap his legs around my waist and kick me in the testicles until I fell down. We would make daily trips to Consumers Market to buy junk food like the family fun packs of Snickers and Reese's. My friend Brandon and I always liked tormenting Tristan, Tristan was a Wiccan and didn't like whenever people littered. This being such we would eat the candy and throw the wrappers on the ground. We would get a laugh at how much it would piss him off as he picked up every peice, We also would laugh at all the cussing that would follow from him. We spent a lot of time at Tristan's house where we would even tease him more. His mom was a very attractive nurse who liked to do aerobics, so me and Brandon would always ogle as she worked out an make very crude comments to Tristan. One time as we were walking to Consumers we found this badly decomposed rabbit and a leash. We got the bright idea to take it for a walk or more like a drag. Once we got to Consumers like a good pet owner would do, we tied our pet to the post outside. Then we told the cart guy that we would kick his ass if he let anything happen to our beloved pet. When we came out they had thrown the rabbit in the trash. So of course we dug our furry friend out and went to our friend Mike's house. Although, he wasn't home we trusted our pet with him and stuffed our rabbit friend in his mail box.